Like Stained Glass

A Lesson Learned: by Robin Thomas

My son showed me a Youtube video the other day where a woman was pulled over in her car by an officer. She thought, “What the heck, I didn’t do anything.” The officer walks up to the car and says, “License and registration, please.” She starts giggling hysterically as she hands over the license and registration. The officer says, “Ma’am, your license is invalid, it says here that you weigh 135!” More hysterical laughter. The officer was her brother.

The incident was all in fun, but it started me thinking, “Why do people lie, or give themselves the benefit of the doubt when they put their weight down on a form?

Why do we round down when we are talking about our weight, or round up when we are talking about our height? Shame that we don’t measure up?

I am certainly guilty of rounding down my weight, yet I would consider myself a very honest person. When I was in my 20’s (You know just a few years ago, wink, wink) I was getting some cash from an ATM. It gave me an extra twenty-dollar bill. I, without hesitation, took the extra $20 bill that it gave me back into the bank. Their reaction? Dropped jaws. Somehow our society has created an idea that if no one knows the difference then it must be okay.

Fast forward to a few months ago I had a similar incident happen where I bought a necklace and got it home and put it on. A day or so later when I was putting away the bag the necklace came in, there was another necklace in the bag. I thought, “That is weird, maybe they were a set?” Instead of taking it right back down to the store, I started to explain it all away. I didn’t take it so it can’t be wrong. The next time I was at the store it was “Temporarily Closed”, due to Covid? Staffing? Is that a sign that I am meant to keep it? Yet the still small voice in my heart is still telling me to make it right. Guilt.

My point is, what happened between the $20 bill and the necklace? Have I succumbed to this “crowd mentality” thinking? Is guilt the warning flag from that “still small voice” trying to keep us on the narrow path, OR is guilt the gentle urging of the Holy Spirit to help you make a different choice?

The dictionary says that guilt is “the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.” And “shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self; withdrawal motivations; and feelings ..(Wikipedia)

I didn’t feel guilt with the necklace, I didn’t commit a crime, but does it make it any less wrong to keep it? I did, and do feel shame that I haven’t yet made it right.

Is it wrong to round down on your weight? Who is it going to hurt? What makes us even care?

I KNOW.

Listening to that “still small voice in my heart”(Holy Spirit) is what keeps the light flowing through to my soul.

I think of my soul as looking like a beautiful stained glass window. Guilt and shame darken the panels and prevent the light from shining through. A stained glass window in the dark is unimpressive, but one that is in full light is glorious!

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good deeds and moral excellence, and [recognize and honor and] glorify your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16; Amplified Bible)

I want my soul to look like the sun shining through beautiful stained glass.

One day at a time.